it’s been a stretch
Canoeing with Sue, Gabriel and Nadia in Austin...ahoy!
Well, hello. I am returning from months of no blog posts – tahdah! And what have I been up to these past months? A lot. I’ve celebrated two holidays with my dear family and friends. I’ve read several really nice books – reading “1491″ right now and really dig it – and walked Peter the miniature dachshund more times than I can count. I’ve made some really delicious millet breads and inventive vegetarian dishes…but something has been missing. My dad. In this bizarre world, I said good-bye to my grandpa and my dad within a two month span. Sounds like a shitty novel, I know. I miss them both incredibly and know this will take years to work into my world view. But in the meantime, I am so grateful to have had these two amazing men in my life for as long as I did. In my thirty years life has brought me many unbelievable opportunities, events, and people. This is no different. And how.
moments and markers
Since my last post my sweet Grandpa has passed away. It happened really quickly and the cancer took over his body and mind faster than any of us were ready for. In fact, you are never really ready for cancer to take someone you love. No matter how much time you have to ponder life without them physically here, the reality of death is still stunning. At least this has been my experience. So Grandpa will not be there to answer my phone calls or leave messages on my iPhone; I wish I’d kept a voice message from him – I loved his voice. We won’t get to talk about politics and financial investment strategies any longer – and I feel now that I should have been writing down everything he told me over the years. But with all the sadness I have surrounding his death, I have a lot of really good memories and the knowledge that I had a good, worthwhile, and caring relationship with this man from a generation so very different from my own. That we would talk about life, world events, and even my husband’s work habits (they were VERY alike in this regard!) speaks volumes about how Grandpa was interested in and engaged with life. And these are traits that I strive to embody in my own life. This is a picture of myself and my cousins at the reception following the funeral service – we had good conversation, laughter, good food, and I think it did us all a lot of good!
a miracle - it's most of the cousins!
they're so cool it makes me want to wear glasses, too!
And here are a few shots of my family at one of our favorite restaurants in Dallas – Tukta Thai. It was so so so good to have K there; these were taken only a few weeks ago and it is awesome that he was able to make the trek and enjoy the food – and tea!
So, this blog features a lot of family lately. This is because we are losing some precious members and it has made me painfully aware that I must celebrate each relationship I am lucky enough to have with my family members – immediate, extended, and otherwise.
E & B in grey...
fall is here
a wonderful sight to see!
Pumpkins = fall. And, as fall is my favorite season, I also count pumpkins as a a wonderful harbinger of the good things fall brings to me. Namely, cooler weather is what I love about fall. But I also love the sense of togetherness and cohesion the various holidays bring to my life. As I am currently traveling through a place of sadness and loss, I am comforted by the familiarities of fall. It somehow seems appropriate that this is the time of the year that leaves turn and things mellow.
laughter = my best medicine
Luckily, I have plenty of light and hope in my life to balance the sickness that seems to be all around me. Yes, both my grandpa and my dad are sick with cancer and I find myself at a loss sometimes; it simply sucks. But I am blessedly able to enjoy the amazing people and situations in my life and this makes it all bearable. Here is a shot that B took just after we’d gone to a charity event. I like the light and effervescence in it.
who doesn't love a mini taco?
And here’s a photo of an absurdly tiny taco, courtesy of Bonnell’s Texas Cuisine here in Fort Worth. Who would have thought that grits and quail were the best thing you’ve ever placed in your mouth?!
All in all, this fall will be a nice reprieve from the hellish heat of summer. And, though it may bring sadness, it will also offer me the opposite: calm, and time to think.
a long overdue gift
About a year and a half ago I dedicated myself to knitting my little brother a scarf to keep him warm during his second Milwaukee winter. I have never experienced the type of cold he’s described to me, and I have a feeling I would not – woolen scarf or not – be able to handle it! So, D has moved back to Texas – it will be a year on Christmas – and I only recently got around to giving him his much belated, two Christmases ago present! Being that he is quite tall, I am at least glad it is long enough; I had visions of the scarf looking more like a tiny neck wrap!
dark grey, wool, and debonair, no?
Luckily, D can now relax in the knowledge that he has a wool scarf to keep him oh so warm for another Texas winter. Er, erhaps he can wear it as more of a fashion statement than for actual utility…
And here is a close-up of a beautiful little plant I’ve added to our patio – I am not certain of the name, but its flowers look like tiny little orchids!
renewal
our newest plant, Fern.
Dear reader (if you still are kind enough to visit me): much has happened since my last post! I have been away for awhile and consumed with moving, beginning a new job, and the ill health of dear loved ones. I have been neglectful, yes. And I did have the consciousness that I hadn’t been visiting my little blog at all. So this tiny twinge of guilt has been present, but not nearly as looming as the big changes in my life. And it wasn’t until my dear friend, B, gently chided me over coffee that I have been conspicuously absent from this place. So I am back, and happy to report that I LOVE our new place, LOVE my new position at the Museum, and am somehow handling the sicknesses of my dear ones, one day at a time…
To get right back into the swing of things, here is what I’ve been up to:
I’m currently reading Pema Chodron’s Start Where You Are and, slowly, am gaining what I hope is some wisdom from this great writer and Buddhist teacher. I am busily working with my curatorial group, Subtext Projects – check out our recent interview with Austin’s …might be good. And I have a review of an exhibition by the Chicago-based Barbara Crane in the current issue of Art Papers.
On a recent note, B and I went to Dallas last night for the openings at 500x and Centraltrak. 
We started the rainy evening with a delicious dinner at the Meridian Room – an old favorite from my Dallas days! 
The work at both venues was good, and I especially liked the work of Lesli Robertson and Matt Clark at 500x. It had been 10 years since I’d visited this Dallas coop and I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of work being made there.
Something about smooth concrete is so beautiful — perhaps it’s my love of the walls at the Mod…
beautiful piece by Lesli Robertson
the turn of a page
I love how reading a book often propels me into reading other books. And this often occurs when an author references something especially intriguing in a footnote, or when a particular author writes so darned well that I must read their other works! Such a thing has recently happened in my reading life and I couldn’t be happier about it! It started with Winifred Gallagher’s House Thinking, which I just finished last night. Gallagher’s voice is at once fresh, inspired, well-learned, and humorous. She peppers her chapters with valuable, practical information, either scientific or technical, but no so much as to bore me or prompt me to shut the book. Gallagher never once repeats words (a particular peve of mine!) and her prose just flows…
So, I’ve researched her other books (non-fiction, my favorite!) and requested Rapt from my local library. It is waiting patiently for me and I’m looking forward to turning that first page. (There is something so satisfying to hold a book in my hands, to feel the pages, to read the front and back flaps, to study the cover image…but this is fodder for another entry:) The Washington Post describes Rapt as “engaging book [devoted] to reviewing the psychology and neuroscience of attention.” How’s that for a page turner?!
the move
Me & B moving into the future (at the Seattle Public Library)!
So we’re beginning to gather all of our worldly possessions and embark upon 
an adventure in a new home. It’s not that we don’t enjoy our small apartment — we’re right on the river and near lots of things we like to do. But the time has come to stake out a larger space to call our own. Let me preface all of talk of moving by saying that I am (ands always have been) a big proponent of “less is more.” Before marrying B, I lived quite happily in a 500 square foot apartment in an old, charming 1920’s eight-plex. Of course, I didn’t have many visitors, as there was not really a place for anyone to sit. But I enjoyed this easy, simple life. And let’s just be honest; the Whole Foods as my neighbor sweetened the deal!
So, I am a few years older and finding myself saying things like “gee, a second bedroom would be great.” Or, “I would kill for my own bathroom!” And I find myself wondering if I am changing before by very eyes…
But I must say to myself, “no, you are still the same person who gives things to Goodwill at every turn, reads books from the library, swaps clothes and shoes with friends, and refuses to even consider purchasing a house until all that student loan business is gone.” So, I am still steeped in a minimalist sensibility. It’s just that, sometimes, a little bit more space helps thinking, relaxing, creating, and being.
I, for one, can’t wait!
a good fourth
Ah, the 4th of July and it’s hot in Texas. Now I am not an overtly patriotic person. Yes, I am more apt to feel national pride due to the fact that we have a commendable, capable, and insightful leader at the helm. And yes, I feel a special kinship with other Americans when travelling overseas; we simply have an entire, complex, multivalent culture in common. We can draw upon this for a feeling of familiarity and connectedness. But, honestly, national pride makes me queasy. It is scary when taken to the extreme and is the stuff that nationalism and bigotry are made of. So for this 4th of July, B and I are taking it easy…
beautiful eggplant from the Farmers' Market
We awoke this morning and set out (after a caffeine fix!) for the Farmer’s Market.
eating in season...
So though I am not one to wave a flag or sing the National Anthem, I believe that I do a much more concrete and supportive act when buying our veggies and fruits from local farmers. It just feels (and tastes) good.
I leave you with a photo I almost scrapped, then decided it was a keeper!
Hopefully I’ll have some photos of fireworks, my absolute favorite thing to watch, soon!
drawings & videos
![William Kentridge, drawing fro the opera "The Magic Flute" [Rhino on Stage], 2004-05](http://starrwhite.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/kentridgefluterhino.jpg?w=300&h=199 "KentridgeFluteRhino")
dwg. for "The Magic Flute," 2005
"What Will Come (has already come)," 2007
So this piece is in the show here at the Modern, and I look forward to seeing it again (like and old friend)! But there is so much more to see. Perhaps the most compelling aspect of Kentridge’s work is his love of theater and his employment of “non-hip” modes of art making. He investigates temporality and memory with a deep-rooted sense of whimsy, curiousity, and a thorough knowledge of human weakness. You see, being South African and over 50 means that Kentridge’s work is grounded in his experience of the horrors of apartheid. Though this quietly anchors his work and is ever-present, it is leavened by a lightness of spirit that can only be attained via knowledge of such darkeness. I look forward to seeing the rest of the show!
whale love
read it!
I’ll admit it: I enjoy a life-long love affair with….whales! My earliest recollection of this love is sitting at the kitchen table as a fourth-grader, completing a project on the majestic Humpback. I carefully drew a rendition of this beloved whale and was pleased that my work looked so much like the picture in the textbook in front on me. Now, I do not recall what my science project aimed to learn about the Humpback, only that I was smitten with it. Isn’t this reason enough to create a project around such an animal?
Now, Humpbacks are my favorite type of whale, but I am learning to appreciate them all: right, Blue, Beluga, Fin, Grey and Sperm whales are all amazing to me. And although I have yet to see a whale with my very own eyes, I LOVE to read about them…right now this hunger is being sated with a wonderful book by Elin Kelsey titled “Watching Giants: The Secret Lives of Whales.” She goes into wonderful depth on the maternal care that mother whales lavish on their calves, whale migratory patterns, feeding spots, play, and the ways in which we are altering their ocean environment at an alarming rate. What I appreciate most about Kelsey’s tribute to whales is her emphasis on scientific data and first-hand observation; she emphasizes just how much we DO NOT know about our giant underwater friends. There is so much more to understand about a species that lives only 5% of their lives above water. We must do what we can (and it’s a lot!) to protect those parts of the world that are covered in water – the parts we don’t see. They are just as important.
